Reminiscent
by Kitsuna Ri
Summary: I wrote this a long time ago, and finally finished it. Remus reminisces over Sirius, very sad and angsty. Enjoy. [One-shot]


Ok I started this a year ago, and then just a moment ago I had it all typed up and finished and then my computer froze and I lost everything...I'm still in shock about it...but I'm gonna retype up everything and pray it turns out as good...Enjoy th' angst.  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, angst  
  
Disclaimer: not mine  
  
Reminiscent  
  
_He's gone, he's really gone..._  
  
Remus Lupin stared down at an old photo that he clutched in his hands. The photo showed four boys grinning wickedly. They all looked as though they were troublemakers. Which they were in fact. A drop of water fell onto the photo, followed by another. Soon the photo fell to the ground, along with Remus himself. He slumped onto the ground and sobbed. The Marauder's were finished. Two had died, one had betrayed them all. Only Remus truly remained. Remus continued to sob as these thoughts went through his head. He was the only one left. His best friend and lover had just died in front of him. And he wasn't able to do anything, he could only hold Harry. The thought pained him. The last one that had remained with him and just...died. The realization hit him so hard he didn't know what to do. He had come back to number twelve, Grimmauld Place with false hope that none of that had really happened. But he knew it did. And it hurt so much to know that was true.  
  
"W-Why...WHY?!"  
  
Remus' sobs echoed through the house and for once, Mrs. Black didn't start howling or yelling. The only thing that could be heard now was Remus' heartbreaking cries. It hurt so much to know that the one he loved so much could never come back. That he would never be held in his arms or feel his gentle kisses. Things would never be like they used to. Not like the old times...when they first met, first kissed and first confessed their love for one another. It was all over. he wouldn't hear his beautiful voice, run his fingers through Sirius' gorgeous black hair or look into his wonderful eyes. Remus' small frame shook as he leaned against the wall and kept crying. Sooner or later he would have to face everyone. But not now. It was too hard, He couldn't look into their eyes and he couldn't see Harry. It was just too much. He couldn't act like he had when things first happened. He couldn't pretend like everything was going to be alright. He had just lost his mate, his lover. But he knew that in just a couple of days he'd be waiting for Harry at Kings Cross and tell him everything would turn out fine. But that was a lie. To him it was at least. He reached over and grabbed the photo that had fallen earlier. He stared at it again. The photo had been taken merely days before he and Sirius had shared their first kiss. He raised his fingers to his quivering lips. He still remembered everything as though it had just happened. The way Sirius' lips felt on his, how Sirius tasted. He remembered it all and Merlin how it pained to remember it all like this! He brought his knees up to his chest. Sirius had been gone for nearly thirteen years and then when he came back they were only able to be together for barely two years, before Sirius had died.  
  
"Gods Sirius let me follow you...I can't live without you! I've already died inside..."  
  
He buried his head in his arms. How could he go on? How could he ever smile truthfully and feel happiness again? He had just lost the only one he'd ever love. The only one who he would stay forever bound too. It was killing him inside. He got up shakily and picked up the photo, walking over to the couch. He laid down and closed his eyes, waiting for the unconsciousness of sleep to come over him. When it finally did, he was in a dark place. Blackness surrounding him. It seemed to him to just be the beginning of a dream until he felt something touch his shoulder lightly. He quickly turned around to see Sirius staring at him.  
  
"S-Sirius!"  
  
He looked closer and noticed how transparent Sirius was. It was only his spirit. But Remus smiled anyway, it was still Sirius. Sirius moved closer, putting a ghostly hand by Remus' face.  
  
"Remus...Remus my love, please stop crying. Please be strong for me. For yourself and for Harry. I'll always be with you, I'm always in your heart..."  
  
Remus nodded. Sirius was right. He couldn't stay like this forever, Sirius would always be with him no matter what. How could he have ever doubted him.  
  
"I promise Sirius. I won't cry. Wait for me?"  
  
Sirius smiled.  
  
"Always Remus. Always."  
  
Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus. Remus could feel him, he could feel Sirius' lips on him and he could feel the passion in the kiss. He went to lean up and return the kiss, but his eyes opened up and he found himself sitting up on the musty couch. He brought his fingers to his lips again. He could still feel the sensation from the kiss, it had really happened. Remus smiled lightly and laid back down, closing his eyes. He could feel Sirius' warm presence in the room and it was all he needed to help him get through anything. Through the next few days and even through the full moon. Sirius would always be there. The smile stayed on his face as he started to drift off to sleep. He muttered a few words before being out completely.  
  
"I'll be with you soon Sirius...until that day comes I'll keep my promise to you. Continue to wait for me my love..."  
  
Remus fell asleep into the first calm sleep since the incident, his thoughts filled with only the good memories. They would help him get through everything. When he would arrive at Kings Cross, he would keep his promise to Sirius and make sure everything was ok with Harry. But until then, he just wanted to keep hold of the good feeling he had now. Sirius' spirit leaned down and brushed away a stray hair from Remus' face. He would watch over Remus and wait for him just as he had promised.  
  
-Owari-  
  
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Sap and angst. How fun. Well I hope you enjoyed it! I tried my hardest to make it turn out really good!!! I know Remus seemed kind of weak, but he's a werewolf so you know th' whole mating for life thing really takes it toll right there! Anyway! This was a lot of work to remember it all! And to get over the shock of losing the first version! So please review nicely!!! Oh! dawns on her Owari means The End in japanese! Sorry! I'm still used to typing up my anime fanfics -sweatdrop-


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